If and when you got so old that your grandchildren decided to put you into a nut house ?

lets say you began to gradualy degrade , and a case of dementia and/or amnesia crept in.



your soul was intact, your heart and mind was also intact and deep down you were well aware of your surroundings - well at least in some respects you were.



your grandchildren decide to put you away in a care home - for the remainder of your life, and seldom visit you - xmas day being a rare 'visit' to you with some grub in a plastic box.



Would this break your heart to the point of giving up on living the rest of your life ?



or would you just 'accept' that this sort of thing is legal and acceptable in our 'modern civilised society' , where its 'out with the old and in with the new'.



thoughts and opinions on this matter please.



If i began to think my grandchildren would do such a horrible thing to me - i'd seek some legal advice and ensure they couldn't do that to me, my body heart and mind is MY buisiness and nobody not even flesh n blood has the right to put me in a psychologicaly demeaning prision.If and when you got so old that your grandchildren decided to put you into a nut house ?
I work with dementia/Alzheimer's residents, and I tell you it can get downright sad. It's as if the caretakers become their family until they pass on, and I never really see a strange face on the unit because in their eyes, these residents are already dead.



Another thing that makes me angry is that when they do come and visit, it's like they have the balls to tell us how to take care of their parent/grandparent when we know how to take care of them that entire time, and we never get a thank you or a hint of being appreciated for doing what we do. They might not be all there, but I see your point about their soul being intact, as well as their heart and for the most part their minds. They talk like 'normal people', they feel emotions as we do, they feel physical pain as we do, and they need others to socialize with. Other than being their caretaker, I have no choice but to make them a part of my extended family...that's just the way that I am. It goes beyond having some sort of attachment, but they need love too.



I think this is what goes through their minds when this happens:

I couldn't imagine having anybody in my family coming to my house that I've lived in for like 60 years and say, "You're no longer going to live here because you can't take care of yourself anymore, so you're going to live at Pinewood Manor for the rest of your days". Not having a clue as to what Pinewood Manor is, they grab only a few of the keepsakes that mean the world to me, maybe a piece of small furniture that means something to me, and some pictures. I arrive at this huge building, get greeted by this dorky-looking lady giving her welcome, and then being led to a room with a bed, a night stand, a couple chairs for people to sit in when they decide to visit, a sink a tiny bathroom, a bedside table, and a few other things. This is home? Where is my furniture? Where is my rocking chair? Where's my kitchen? The kids set down the boxes of pictures, nic-nacs, a few sets of clothes, and leave. They expect the Nurse Assistants to set the room up, and then the kids don't come back to at least visit me for at least six months. I have this room surrounded by only a couple of reminders and pictures and I only have that for the remainder of my days. My family doesn't visit me..not even on Christmas because I no longer live in the outside world. Finally when family does decide to visit, they're strangers to me. They're out in the world spending my money on whatever they want, enjoying their lives while I'm stuck at this building with strangers I've never met in my life. I'm expected to go and do these activities like Bingo, or crafts, while deep inside of myself I'm deteriorating, and on my way to my death bed. I'm provided with meals and snacks of course, but I'm on a schedule to take my medications, have my vital signs monitored daily, and a shower every two days. I'm surrounded by these caretakers that somehow know me inside and out, and they become my new son or daughter or grandchild. Eventually, I do pass on..not saying any final words or goodbyes to the family I once knew.



You have a point about these places becoming a demeaning prison, but you have to realize that these people have the right to live in a safe environment, and are able to receive the best care. It's not only the "environment" that makes their minds deteriorate, it can be the medication that's taken, or the lack or socialization with one on one time with caretakers. The only life they have ever known is gone, so what choice do they really have? They can either thrive, they can choose to isolate themselves, or just give up and deteriorate quickly. I have to take care of up to ten residents when I work, and I tell you I wish there was a way I can get the time to really get to know them. When I do, most of the time I hear, "I want to go home". It makes my heart sink because there's nothing else I can do. If they request a phone call to a family member, they don't answer most of the time. And then the family wonders why they never hear from that resident. It's just a bleak picture, and trying to give them a sense of dignity can be pointless because that all passed away as soon as they walk through that door of that building.



We come into this world defenseless, and we leave this world the same. We can't say anything, and I'm not sure if this happens but I don't ever hear a thank you from the children telling the resident of how proud they have a parent like them, or thanking them for giving them such a great life. We come into the world crying with life, and we leave this world without a word to say.
I could never do that to a parent or grandparent. They gave me life, fed me, clothed me, raised me, been there when I needed a hug or whatever. If I was placed in such a place, I would quickly find a way to end it all instead of having to live through that.If and when you got so old that your grandchildren decided to put you into a nut house ?
Lets hope I never have grandchildren.
I would cut them out of my will ?If and when you got so old that your grandchildren decided to put you into a nut house ?
just tell them
the people in this society are so self centered and forget that those were the ones wiping our buts when we were kids . all they can think of is money and a good time , but they too forget they are getting older not younger and what goes around comes around . when your child or grandchild see you put your grand parents in a home it looks right in their eyes and when you get old they pretty sure aint going to put up with you so you going in a home .
Having seen my late mother-in-law's descent into Alzheimer's, I think that NOT putting her into a facility where she is safe and looked after would have only put her life and other people's lives in danger unnecessarily.



She had reached the stage where she was getting up in the middle of the night, coming down and putting on the gas to cook dinner - without actually lighting the gas. She was also starting to wander to other places, and walking out onto busy roads, and forgetting where she was, and not putting her coat on .... her husband didn't want her to go into a 'nuthouse' either, but his own physical health was failing, and he couldn't look after her the way she needed to be looked after, so the social services intervened.



She spent the last few years of her life in a safe, enclosed facility, could go outside into the garden, was constantly supervised to make sure that she was safe, and those looking after her were very kind and very respectful. She was not abandoned by her family, they visited her regularly and could see for themselves that she was fine, much better off than she would have been at home.



Needless to say, this was not in the UK on the NHS.