You really should go see your psychiatrist, or some other therapist. Remember that whatever you say to him or her, it's in complete confidence. They deal with people with some of the most simple to the most twisted pasts imaginable. It's their job, their life, they're there to help you understand yourself and what you're going through, and want to guide you on the path to discovery. The path you're on sounds very difficult, and to do it alone, you could find yourself tearing your own mental health apart from the inside out. I've had my own issues growing up, ones I'd never tell a soul and probably won't again, things that have damaged me for years, but overcoming these things is the most important and vital thing you'll ever do. Overcoming these things proves to yourself that you can overcome anything.Suffer from small periods of amnesia..?
yep
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